Lem vs. Introspection - Round 15

Lem the Dragonslayer


I slayed a dragon. Slayed? Slew? I slew a dragon. Hmmm…that doesn’t sound right either.

Well, no, I didn’t do it by myself. Daargan put some kind of nasty magic whammy on it as soon as we saw it and things went downhill for it from there. But I was definitely there. Shot the bugger like five times. Well, maybe it was only four. But it was my bolt that brought it down. That’s important, right?

No, it wasn’t that big. I mean, it was pretty big…bigger than me…big enough. Yeah I’m sure they make them bigger. But the smaller ones are more maneuverable, y’know? Harder to hit. They’re wily—the smaller the wilier.

No, the dragon didn’t breathe fire. It did try to breathe poison gas on us, which is just as bad—maybe worse really. Sure, ‘gas breath’ doesn’t have the same menace to it as ‘flame breath’, but it’s pretty bad in practice. It smelled bad, that’s for sure. I guess it could have smelled worse.

Alright Journal, in all honestly it probably wasn’t a real dragon. Technically it was a drake. But what’s the difference really? Both have scales. Both have wings. Both will eat you if you give them a chance. They’re practically the same monster. And I can’t really take the title ‘Drakeslayer’, can I? That’d just confuse people. And ‘Drakeslayer’ is hardly fitting for the ‘Champion of Ursandova’. So for the good of the people we should probably just agree to smooth out the rough details of the story and agree that I killed a dragon…

…that had a breath weapon of some sort…

…and was relatively large…

…more or less by myself.

Good? Good. It’s going down right here: Lem Berrybrook — Dragonslayer.

There, it is written. No take-backsies.

Yes Journal, I’m in a slightly better mood. For the first time in months I’ve gotten to get out and stretch my legs and participate in some genuine heroics along Ursandova’s southern border. While we were out we killed the drake, ferreted out a Tendriculos, and mapped the border all the way to the edge of the Stolen Lands. This finally sets us up to start expanding our territories again and get Ursandova growing. I’m actually feeling pretty excited about it.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still some hurdles to clear. The Old Beldame still refuses to be anything but a pain in our asses, and we’ve still got a problem with a few bandits holding out in the woods. But these are problems with solutions. I dare say we’re on top of it.

The biggest thing left to do is probably to clear out the Candlemere. Ulgar seems especially eager to go pick a fight with the resident Will ‘o Wisps, but I remember last time to well to rush into a fight there. Maybe once the lake freezes over we’ll be able to lead an expedition that won’t include the risk of drowning to the strong possibility of grave bodily harm. We’ll have Gideon load up on righteous burninosity. Lani can get the moon to help. And maybe Ulgar can bring a catapult. I’ve heard that the proper application of catapult fire can solve most problems.

So for the moment things are looking up. I’m far from feeling fine, but I didn’t mind waking up this morning. That’s a big improvement.


No, the Nina thing has not progressed.

It does you no good to keep asking if nothing’s happened. There’s nothing new to report. End of story.

Yes, I am still trying.

No, I haven’t given up.

Just give me some time okay? I need to do this thing at my own pace.

Yes, I know she won’t wait forever. I’m on it.

Man, introspection is a bitch.


kitsuki kitsuki

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