Dear Mom, Dad
You will never guess what happened.
(the remainder of the page is blank, to let them attempt to guess before reading the rest of the letter)
As you guys know, I ran off and became a knight under the service of the Swordlords. Shortly thereafter, I became increasingly bored with my lowly duties, and the significant lack of things to see or do. So I signed myself up to become a… how shall I say… “explorer with violent tendencies.” I was sent to map and tame the wilderness of the Stolen Lands.
Little did I- or my newfound friends- know that secretly, the Swordlords wanted us to start a new kingdom out in the wilderness, a gently glowing beacon of civilization in an otherwise massive expanse of unchecked nature. Hoo, boy! Talk about unexpected twists!
So, here I am, filling the shoes of the previous Baron (heavens rest him). I’m doing my best to have fun with it, make the best of my time at the top of the ladder, but that’s taking quite some effort. Still, my companions are good fun, and usually help to fix more problems than they create; something of a blessing at this stage of the kingdom’s development (See that? I’m already getting serious. This can’t be healthy).
Garr is doing well, and he’s certainly eating a lot more than he used to. I fear lethargy may set in any day now, but at least for the time being he is healthy and enjoying his position as the Baron’s foremost companion and ally. The rest of our government is also, I think, handling my newfound status well enough, even if I am still flailing about a bit to find my footing. I call it ‘newfound,’ even though I’ve actually been holding the position for quite some time, now. I suppose it feels like such a brief period of time, but nowadays there’s always something to be done. From speeches, to Council meetings, to making allies, decrees… you name it, and I’ve probably done it. Okay, that’s a horrendous mistruth, but I made my point.
My second purpose in sending this letter is to invite you to come join us! I know not where you two are, you could have very easily up and wandered off after I left, but I do hope this makes it to you both. The fledgling kingdom would be more than happy to add you to its citizenry (plus, have you guys ever lived in a castle? It’s the darnedest thing. There are /crenellated battlements/ and everything).
I could keep writing this for hours on end, but I should probably attend to some other things. There always seems to be something else the Baron could be doing. I hope you enjoyed reading this (if you even get to read it; if not, hello, stranger-who’s-reading-this!).
Dyimi Vlastokovich, Boarslayer, Thunderbolt of Ursundova, and Bearer of the Hat of State.