Lem vs. Introspection - Round 10

Lem gets a visit from the recently deceased.

Hey Journal,

What’s going on? How have you been? Good? That’s good.

Me, I guess I’ve been okay. What have I been up to? You know, exploring the wilds and shooting some things. Cha-chick, right? No, my aim hasn’t gotten any better. Ha ha.

Anything new? Well, I did get to watch a giant lizard laugh itself to death. Well, not ‘laugh itself to death’ as in the laughing caused its death. No, it was more like Variel made it start laughing and then Dyimi and Katya murdered the crap out of it. We also fought some blood sucker with mesmerizing hips, a little monster that was fast as the dickens, and an evil plant. Oh, oh, and will-o-wisps. Fought some of those—not very effectively I might add. Actually looked like we were all going to die for a few seconds. Then Sasha and a celestial horse showed up and saved our asses.

Yup, just another day questing for Ursandova.

A little background may be in order. We had traveled to the Candlemere trying to establish the nature of the haunts rumored to be on the island. We took a boat down there and walked into this ruined tower, found out it was haunted by evil ghosties, and then started making with the attacking. Things didn’t go to well, Katya took a few hard licks, and even though Variel made me huge, I still couldn’t hit a thing. Things were looking bad when I heard a horse galloping up. Then, suddenly there’s a big ole’ warhorse and Sasha in full armor. Sasha goes straight at the ghosties—and I mean straight at them—he starts flying at one point. I’m left on the ground as Katya and Variel get on the horse’s back. They ride away. Dyimi follows them. I stick around long enough to make Sasha order me to bug out. Isn’t that appropriate? Sasha comes back from the grave to help us and I still find a way to piss him off.

But here’s what I really don’t get. Sasha literally descends from heaven with the servant of Katya’s god, rescues us from certain death, and Katya’s just like, “Well that was fun.” No shock, no awe, no joyful tears. She just accepts it and moves on. Dyimi too. In fact, Dyimi is rather insistent that we keep the story to ourselves because he’s worried that people will think we’re making it up. Excuse me? We get a visit by a warrior ghost and a holy horse and no one wants to talk about it? Am I the only one confused and amazed?

What happened after that is really ancillary to me. There was a raft, some lizard men in a little mud village, then a giant lizard and some evil fey. Oh wait, there was also a naked blue chick who told us to go back to see the naked tree chick. It’s a shame the fey-folk hate me so much, I do approve of their choice of wardrobe. And I think they’d really like me if they gave me the chance. I’m not such a bad guy, am I? I mean, people are literally coming back from the grave to save my ass—I can’t be totally useless, right?

To be honest journal, it’s a little depressing. I’m glad Erastil’s looking out for Katya, and I’m glad Sasha saved our bacon. But I’d really rather Sasha’d just come back for a pint at the wench. He could have told me that he appreciated me looking out for his sister, and that he didn’t blame me for…you know…

Oh Journal, sometimes I’m so self-absorbed I make myself sick. At least you don’t mind, do you Journal? You’ll always be my friend, no matter how much I complain. Right?



kitsuki kitsuki

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